Submission in Marriage

by John and Ruth Greene

forgivenessMarriage is about submission, but not the “doormat kind”. Marriage is borne out of love and respect, a spiritual joining in front of your Heavenly Father and mankind. In marriage, the Messiah is honored when His beloved follow His example and leadership as brother and sister in Christ. (“The Truth About Anger“; “The Stronghold of Anger“; “Is YHWH in Your Marriage?“)

When a couple submits to the Father, each is more willing to obey His command to submit to one another. (James 4:7; 1 Peter 3:1-2, 7-9; Proverbs 21:9) In a marriage covenant, both husband and wife are called to submit. For the wife this means willingly following her husband in the salvation of Yahshua [Jesus]. The husband is spiritual head of the wife as the Messiah is head of the gathering of His people. As His people submit to the Messiah, so a wife should submit to her husband in everything out of respect. A husband is to love and respect his wife, just as Yahshua [Jesus] loves His people (the ekklesia or gathering, often called the church). He gives himself up for her and makes her holy, cleansing her by the washing with the water through the Word. He presents His people to Himself as a radiant gathering of His people without stain or blemish. Both in the marriage covenant are made holy and blameless through their personal expression of trust in Him. A husband is to look at his wife in the same way as Yahshua [Jesus] looks at the “church.” The husband is to wash his wife and their family with the purity and knowledge of scripture. The wife is to reciprocate as they follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. A man that loves his wife loves himself. For this reason, man will leave his parents as woman will leave hers, joining as family, as husband and wife. (Ephesians 5:1-33; “Are You an Effective Listener? Listening & Your Relationships“; “Clarity: The Power of Holy Marriage“)

Bible read meA wife submits and loves her husband as he submits and loves his wife through an attitude of humility. A husband should be willing to sacrifice everything for his wife. He should make her well-being a primary importance, just as he cares for himself. A wife does not need to fear submission when a husband treats her in this way. Together, they are set apart in His sacred service as temples of the Holy Spirit. (Matthew 28:18-20; Mark 10:1-12; John 14:17, 26; Ephesians 2:22, 4:30; 1 Corinthians 6:19; Titus 3:5; Hebrews 10:29, 13:12; “Living the Good Life as Husband and Wife“; “Intimacy in Marriage“)

This is why becoming a new person through Christ is so important. The unity between husband and wife is important even though each is very different. What affects one affects the other. YHWH wants oneness in marriage rather than two, as each one anticipates the needs of the other. You care for your spouse as you care for yourself, using the example of the Messiah. When a husband and wife are deficient in any way, Messiah and the Holy Spirit are able to complete each one as each submits to YHWH’s Spirit. (Galatians 1:6-12; Colossians 3:10; Ephesians 4:24; 2 Corinthians 5:17; “Holy Spirit 101“) Still, this may not fulfill your expectations in your marriage relationship.

considering-Gods-WordIt’s been said that boundaries are a part of any healthy relationship. When firmly grounded in Bible standards, this can be true. But for this to be true, you must be firmly grounded in YHWH through the Messiah. From boundaries come expectations, yet expectations are better left within your relationship with your Heavenly Father instead of placing them all on the shoulders of your husband or wife. Springing from a spirit of flesh and usually borne of disappointment are unreasonable expectations. Your spouse can disappoint you because he or she isn’t perfect, any more than you are. Yet, you may still find it easy to judge the one that you used to find so fascinating and loveable. The truth is that unreasonable expectations elevate self, even to the point of idolatry through self-deception. Through this deception, a husband or wife can split, judge and condemn, even in the name of love. (John 15:13; 1 Corinthians 13:4-9; 1 Peter 5:6-9; 1 John 4:16-21; Matthew 6:25-34) Yet, unreasonable expectations always oppress the other side of a personal relationship. Unreasonable expectations also consistently violate the guidance of scripture. (2 Corinthians 13:5-6; 1 Corinthians 11:28; Ephesians 3:17; Lamentations 3:40; “Abiding in Trust“)

“This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.” – John 15:12-14

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” – Matthew 7:1-5

justice of manYour Messiah advises that a disciple is to judge (krino: distinguish, call into question) self before looking at others. Before you point out a fault in someone else, be certain of its holy presence in your own life relating to the fault you claim. Yahshua [Jesus] prohibits criticism that is self-righteous, hypercritical and destructive. (Matthew 18:15-17; Titus 3:10-11; 1 John 4:1-4) The entire Word of YHWH is based on the provision that the disciple of the Messiah will follow YHWH’s track of righteousness in making decisions. In this way, through the Holy Spirit, a Christian is able to find and begin to remedy his or her own weak points. This is the act of being a Christian, personal relationship with YHWH through the example of the Messiah and the Holy Spirit. (John 7:24; “Breaking the Hold of the World: Addiction & Distorted Behavior“)

“For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.” – Galatians 6:3

Bible book of JobA Christian is to have a spirit of humility. Galatians 6:3-4 advises that each disciple must examine (dokeo: to account for or to consider through thought) his or her own work rather than the work of another. Each disciple is to test and prove, to distinguish or discern whether something is worthy or not based on scripture and Spirit. That is why Spirit-led spiritual maturity is so important. For what agreement does the temple of YHWH have with idols or the ways of the world? (2 Corinthians 6:16-7:1, 10:12; Proverbs 4:23) Whether you build on the rock of YHWH or the sandy soil of mankind determines your success before your Father. (Matthew 7:24-27) The command to ‘judge not’ is a plea to be generous with other brothers and sisters that follow the Messiah, yet not to cast the Gospel before those that are calloused, those that have given themselves over to a reprobate mind. (Matthew 7:6-7) There is a great difference between the soul that is sincerely seeking YHWH and the scoffer. (“Divorce: Modern Family & the Authority of Law“)

spiritual maturityReal change brought about through the provision of YHWH results in changes of behavior because of spiritual growth. Spiritual maturity results in a continual and active progression of changes from the ‘old man’ of the past. Yes, each Christian is justified by his trust. The gift of forgiveness and eternal life now challenges each Christian to live within YHWH’s track of righteousness. Legalism makes the Father’s love something to earn rather than being accepted freely as a gift by making a long list of impossible rules, such as endless rulings and opinions by government. The authentic Word of YHWH has been handed down to the body of believers through Messiah and through their continued personal operation of the Holy Spirit. YHWH is quick to forgive when you admit your sins before Him and are willing to forgive others. (Matthew 6:14-15; 1 John 1:9; Ephesians 3:14-21) The willingness to forgive is the key to any close relationship. You do not want to disqualify yourself by taking on the mantle of what should be cast off with the world. (Romans 1:28, 12:1-2; Hebrews 6:7-8, 13:5-6; Titus 1:16) The worst outcome is to be overly critical in relationships, to rest within a life of unrepentant sin through pride and fear. (John 14:6; “The Struggle for Purity of Heart“; “Forsaking Bitterness“)

“You desire, and do not have. You murder, and are jealous, and are unable to obtain. You strive and fight, and you do not possess, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask evilly, in order to spend it on your pleasures. Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with Elohim?1 Whoever therefore intends to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of Elohim.” – James 4:2-4, ISR98

purify heart forgiveRelationship is life and relationship with YHWH needs a cleansed heart, the power of the Holy Spirit and separation from the world of sin. This is what each Christian should seek, both outside of and inside of close relationships. (Matthew 5:8; John 15:18-26; Psalm 51:10; Proverbs 4:23) This is not something that can be sought from specialists in the world of medicine, but only through your Master the Messiah. You cannot be cleansed through the fables of man. For only through Yahshua [Jesus] and the Holy Spirit can your heart be truly cleansed in preparation for YHWH’s Kingdom. Only in this way can you find joy! (1 John 2:15, 3:15, 5:2; Galatians 5:22-23; 1 Peter 2:24; Hebrews 12:14; Psalm 51:2-4; Jeremiah 17:9; “The Magi of this Age“; “Understanding Sin“; “Garden of the Marriage Relationship“)

In this way, you can grow closer in your marriage before your Heavenly Father. (Matthew 19:6, 8-9; Mark 10:12; 1 Corinthians 7:10-17; Malachi 2:16; Hebrews 13:4; 2 Peter 1:16; 1 Timothy 1:4, 4:7; 2 Timothy 4:7; Titus 1:14; “A Branch of the Vine Through Trust“; “Abiding with YHWH in Quiet Places“) Those that are married or considering marriage need to remember this scripture:

“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-6

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“For YHWH so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
John 3:16, RNKJV
Heavenly Father,
Thank you for sending the Messiah, your only begotten Son to be my Savior. I believe in Him and have made this belief the center of my life. Because of this, by faith I have everlasting life! Thank you! I repent of my sins and of my past, freely admitting that I have fallen short of Your glory. I look fully forward to you in my life and commit my life to You. Thank You YHWH, my Heavenly Father for setting me free in the name of your Son Yahshua [Jesus]. Amen.
genuine-articleYou will never enjoy true freedom through the Messiah and power of the Holy Spirit unless you read and absorb the Bible in prayer and trust. You will never know this freedom until you experience it for yourself. Get to know your Heavenly Father, His Son and allow the Holy Spirit to work in your life. The Holy Spirit is your teacher, your Holy Counselor that lives in you to help you learn about the truth of YHWH and His spiritual gifts.
Satan does not want you to have the excellence of YHWH in your life. People pray for protection and want to be taken care of, but often do little in growing close to Him. The world, your husband, your wife, your family, your government do not build your trust in YHWH or free you from spiritual bondage. Your church or your pastor cannot save you. Education, power and money will not free you, but only the Word of your Heavenly Father. Salvation is a daily walk, an act of love for yourself and for those around you, not a one-time event that centers only on you. Make the Word of YHWH your own, your very life!
YHWH is Yahweh, the covenant name of your Heavenly Father.
The names Yahshua and Yahushua are original language names for Jesus,
He is often referred simply as the Messiah or Master.
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